do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Randomize
