I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
