Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
