so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
