There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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