so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
