I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
