Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
