Dual....:-)
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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