Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
