Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
