if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
