Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Randomize
