Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
