im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
