Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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