yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
