Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize