Plan B is the new Plan A
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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