My room smells like vodka and shame
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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