what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
