There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
