So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
