I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
