Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
