you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Found your dick twin last night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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