he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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