don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
