after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
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he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
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I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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