Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.