Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Your mankini haunted my dreams.