I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
