I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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