Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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