Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
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Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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