I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
