You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
