Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
