YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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