Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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