trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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