i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
