i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
