Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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