if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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