Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
