dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
