oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
