Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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