I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
