I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
