Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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