All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
