Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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