It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
