On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize