hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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