Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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