I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
