Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
