Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
