I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
